he is all yours.

I don't deserve this.

I really don't but the question is: did I even have cared ?

Yes. No.Yes. No. I don't know. Maybe.

I am so confused in what to feel and to say. It was a dream come true.
All I wished is that I never ever woke-up and felt like hurting. so damn hard.

Ok. I know I don't want to tell it straight. But I will.

Let me see. "Two is a pain, but three is a crowd".

woah. still I don't know how to say it.

But all I know is that I am depending on all the people to let me believe because ** can't even talked to my about the real things.

I am hurting.

I felt betrayed, and confused .

I don't deserve this. why me?

I can't take it. I will know the truth real soon.

but all I know is that "I Hate You" for making me your nothing.

For now I will not think about it. They will tell me soon.

I am soooo back in Cebu

Yeah. Am back in Cebu City .

I arrived around 7 p.m. in the house. not to mention the "funny experience" I had in the airplane. David and Jesse can attest to that woah..

celebrity daw ah wtf. lol

Anyway, It was fun.

The next day: I am off to school to enroll and Thank God I went home because I planned to extend my stay but when I started to enroll we end up around 5 p.m. and still need to go back to school the next day to pay. w0ah. haha it was not damn easy.

I hate my sched. as-in. ugh I will miss room 450 for sure.

I need to change rooms every subject. waa.. I received my final grades not bad. but not that excellent.

December 20 be back in GSC.. yipee.. 13 days vacation only. argh

he is really in Main what the. don't want samoks lol

delayed flight.

I am supposed to be in the airport. But may dad called and the flight was delayed whew. So from 11:30 it will be moved to 2:45 that means I've got a chance to spend an hour or so with my family.

Honestly, I think this is the purpose that is why God want me to study in Cebu and be far from my family to ---realize their worth. Spending sufficient time with my family is really a struggle for me. I need to give them more time. quality time.

My last day was a blast!.

I invited classmates who were here and had a great time with them.

To: tobby, sergei, adam, charles, joana, alyssa, hazel, leslie, sarah A. sarahY., nola who came super Thanks.. and to those who did not came It's ok because I just texted them 2 hours before the party through sergei. thanks serj!. and some thought that the party will be held tomorrow.

We had a great time talking!.

I woke super early as usual . tsk. I will miss everyhting here.

My mom and I talked over breakfast. I cried, just can't help it. I tole her I would missed them.

Around 9 a.m. I was getting ready and then around 10 I am super done.

BANG!

The flight is delayed and will be moved 2:45 this p.m.

What a blessing! more hours here in Gensan.

until we meet again!. miss y'all so badly.. mwah!.
Just a month away.. HS friends is unbeatable.

I will miss mom, dad, bin2x, en2x and pao2x..
my HS friends as well that is going throught the same thing.

about to burst.

a few tick tacks away..*

Waking up too early than the usual. - my last day in GSC.

* speechless for a moment.

I have a word to ponder on today and I've got to tell that the reason I woke up is early is that I am trying to negotiate with USC and friends in Cebu on how to help me enroll for the second semester cause I've learned that my friend Roselle is going to ask a friend to enroll for her since she is leaving away from Cebu City.

Just a authorization letter, P 2000 (downpayment) , midterm and final grades, and ID or just you ID number- then your ready to go. how easy could that be?
that is a contrary when I asked the BA Department early on and this what a school representative said when I called USC Main.

When my mom was calling me early October, I had already asked but having someone enroll for you would be a 50-50 chance. So, we have decided to just have at least 10 days in our own provinces and just go back to Cebu for enrollment.

uhmm.. that was the plan back then.

After 10 days in GSC my decision changed cause I just want to extend my stay a little longer because if I go to Cebu on the 25th I still have 10 more days left. Anyway my family is going on the 30th or 31st of this month and probably celebrate my pre-birthday party celebration.

boredom. boredom. boredom. b-o-r-e-d-o-m. did I spell it right? that would probably my life back in Cebu for the next 5 days.

My mom said I will go home since I will have sufficient time on December. ugh! but still....

Anyway, the word I need to ponder on is : sacrifice

I need to motivate myself in the mean time: my weight goal, to excel, to be active in school, and to simply be the best I could be.

The new meaning of sacrfice for me now is to cut down my allowance (I did not save much as expected), eat biscuits only, study hard, no more phone calls, to burn more in the gym and to be happy - it is a choice though.

That is my biggest wish before I turn legal. - I have finally matured and I am going back to Cebu.. the countdown for December starts now.

bon jour!

* buh-bye Gensan. *sob

For five months i've been looking forward to sembreak but then my "Gensan Vacation" is about to end. 10 days was never ever enough. I hate to say goodbye again to the environment were I know I can be me. - as in the place I was used to.

College life should really be my main priority as of now. errr. but I am looking forward to another break tadah! Christmas Break!! yipee. ugh. 2 months again. Although, I am still adjusting to the life I have in Cebu. \m/

To sum it all up, my first 5 months in Cebu was really great. I learn new things, I met a bunch of great people, my shopping mania is in bloom, packed with new Cebuano Vocab like allegre, sadya, jawa , pastilan, porbida, and etc. to enrich my cebuano skills.

I learned to memorize some jeepney routes without the knowledge of my guama, guakong and other relatives. except my Auntie Dione who was really supportive in my needs.

I have to leave to take charge in the enrollment process and back to the life I had in Cebu. Although, my mom said that I did not give equal and sufficient time for them here, I really feel sad. I will try my best in December. -there are still some things they can't understand.

the shopping splurges, and the life I have in Cebu. Not to mention the fun and excitement I had there.

Can never take the place of my home, Family, Friends I have back here in General Santos City.

Some places like our old School GsHCS, KCC, joana's house, never ending picture moments and meeting with friends is what we can consider here as "laag" or "gimik" here still remains unbeatable. *grin

melancholic fever

1:20 in the A.M. yet I am widely awake. There is something that has been bothering me.
I felt like I said and done lot of things I shouldn't have said and done. I felt like I regret a lot of things and yet I commit the same outbreak. Mixed emotions actually.
The impact fo words can really kill, I need to keep that in mind. "Less talk, less mistake". Life is really unfair other people can just tell whatever they want and don't even suffer the consequences.

I don't want to be harsh, let them feel the burn.