I believe in change.

2nd week of classes has just begun, nothing new still updating
with what's on a particular subject and also we wore our uniforms.

My goal in mind never happened actually, it gotten even worse than I thought. I learned a lot of things, things which I already know but I am just human so I commit mistakes.

December is just coming, I messed up with sembreak and I just realized that after 2 1/2 months I am not taking care of myself properly and I wasn't thinking about December- the month i've been waiting for.

I am just starting today, I still have 31 days to go. Tomorrow is my birthday anyway and I am not excited because of my mistakes. I don't want to go on like this again I feel so uncomfortable and dull.

Lessons learned:

1.) Make the most out of what you have, everything is really temporary.
2.) Take care of yourself, that's your portrait.
3.) Time is important.

I learned a lot- but not enough to make me stop doing bad stuffs.
I just can't go on like this. I need to make some effort.

I promise I won't screw -just not now. I will be faithful at least up to december 19. I will reach it. I know this is possible.

help me God. I did it before, I can do it better right now.

Change will happen. It's not too late.

December 05 - 20 goal.

say it again

I have always had this goal in mind. Though, it was always been my dream I never reached the goal, I was close but never hit the target. So i'd better make up my mind for good. I should prepare myself for the day October 11. Too much rests already I should work and reach that goal no matter what. It pains me when I know I gave up at some point and go back to zero. I just hope it will make me a better human tomorrow.

never wait because there will never be a perfect timing and make use of those times when you have it.



see you in 100. :0

starting all over take 5

" everyday is a new day, so forget yesterday and start today"
-andrea lee 8/4

I always commit the same mistake but the good thing is I always come back to my new physique even if sometimes I gain some pounds due to eating. I don't know when will I learn. I always have this idea on mind not to eat to eat junk or artificial foods anymore but still I do at times and the worst I eat a lot.

Anyway, I want to make a memorandum to myself and I want to change for the better because I haven't reached my original goal yet. It's like Yo-Yo weight. I feel very much ready again like what I did before but now I am very determined not to go back to my old habits and start all over again. This is to prove that I have self-control and discipline and also to make my family happy even if my dad already starts to discourage me.

All those junks are really bad and they will only satisfy you for the meantime only. Honestly, I don't feel good right now. I just want to go back in the next few days.

breaking rules.

What am I've been doing? I'm just breaking my own rules and this thing is getting me depressed.

Tomorrow is really final. I just wanna cry.

For a better me. :]

After breaking the rules for three days.

I'm over it.

I want some light and healthy lifestyle again. wee :]

I realized that no matter what, we are the ones who is in control of our lives and what we are right now is because of our own free will.

So, I am taking a bigger and better step to my goal.

From now on.

If only I can sign here just to formalize everything. hehe.

-->100.

counting the days

I am hating logic. I just can't undersatnd Categorical Syllogism. grrr.

Logic won't mess my day. Tomorrow my mom's gonna leave Cebu as usual am gonna miss them but am going to see them soon anyway. Around 3 weeks from now.

Although, summer classes will soon end, there are still a lot of things or goals that I need to accomplish. I just can't wait for a very long rest.

I caught someone staring.. I wonder what he is up to.. :D

Another Day

Just another day.. tick tack.

I screwed up in cost accounting, it was the first time though. so I guess it's fine. haha. We also had a test in Logic. It was a hard test : eduction "makakutaw ug utok". Thanks to sir we were given a chance to bring an index card to put all the patterns.

Over-all it was a calm and relaxing day. We don't have a lot to do and I end up going to the gym.

Not to mention the telebabad my sis, pao and I. We can talk for hours. haha

hai. nothing to share. I just wanna type. haha.

anyway, I realized something today:

"If there's determination, your just a step closer to your dreams".

until next time. :D

control over oneself

Define:

self-control (self-con·trol)(sělf'kən-trōl') n.
*Control of one's emotions, desires, or actions by one's own will.

I am aware that we have our own will and I hate myself for breaking some rules. I promised myself not to eat foods which don't contribute anything but to make me fat when my mom is around, thinking that no one is actually forcing me to eat. Still, I screwed up.

I'm so paranoid because even if I know it is not good still I don't know how to say no and just don't eat it. I just hate the feeling of gaining weight and I don't feel good about it.

Simply, overindulge.

Today is a new day and a monday as well. At least in school I don't have the reason to overindulge anymore. wee!

Whatever happens I should put into mind that "no one is forcing me and I can simply say no".

No matter what happens I need to control myself.

until saturday. *sigh.

I'm lovin the results anyway.

Things to accomplish

I wonder why I think too much nowadays?

I regret a lot of things and now i'm slowly recovering from those mistakes. 2008 has been great while my 2007 is really worst maybe because im just starting out in college and money just flies.

I am changing myself, redefining my goals and setting it to a reachable peak.

Im just so excited for the next coming days. Since my family is coming here and my sister will come next, next week. We can talk again. I just missed her. She knows me well I can't hide anything from her and so does she. haha!

I need to plan what I need to do. Especially after my summer classes are over.

1.) to finally enroll my sister in USC.
2.) help her fix her closet.
3.) to reach my goal (secret goal).
4.) find time to relax and bond with my family.
5.) to prepare things for school before leaving Cebu on the 29th.
6.) to deposit money. oh yeah. she's saving. haha

aja!

never better.

Everyday is a new battle, to love it and grab the results I wanted. I don't even know why I am doing this? All I know is that this is for myself and to some people.

Although, I am not making it clear what I am been doing. All the sacrifices I did is worth it. I just need some more and I won't stop until I reach there.

I realize that I have been given enough freedom to push through and whatever some may say, I will not listen and move forward because they don't know how this can change my life and myself.

I declare from this day on. I will not take in whatever I crave and focus on that goal. I don't want to eat my words and just go for it.

I've been hurt a verbally and I won't it happen again. I will be someone I've been longing to be.

It's hard to take in some comments and compliments. You just don't know who to listen.

The only voice I hear, is from a small voice deep within.

May 30 - my dreams will unfold.

gloomy sunday

"Nothing ever beats your own family".

I learn it the hard way. Living here with my relatives in Cebu still makes a lot of difference. There are times when I just don't wanna eat with them in the dinner table. The reason is whenever will look around I'm still alone and nothing will change.

I terribly miss them. It is something I can't explain.
I observed a lot of things here. Even if your relatives it still makes a lot of difference. Deep inside I know what are the things that I need to take in. In no explanation can they take it away from me.

Im not hiding any burdens. For the time will come, they will realize.

flings suck

Weekend!- so what? haha. I haven't really enjoyed most of my time at home here. Stuck in my room and watching my oh-so-favorite channel - lifestyle network. Im just addicted to it.

Gosh. It's been 4 months since i've written a single word in here. Anyway, those months were not really interesting. Let's just say I commited a couple of mistakes and unfortunately hurt few people in the process.

I swear I'm sorry.

They say, it takes time for a person to realize all the things he/she have done. now, i'm guilty.

When I turned 18. I thought I need to start everything right and explore some things I long want to experience. (you guess).
Knowming me, I don't really take things seriously, I tend to play around and when i'm stucked I take it with a tight chokehold around my neck.

The price? nothing really. Just some drama (other people).

I mean. they expect a lot from me. All I know is that I explained to them everything that I could and they need to know. Some human just can't understand simple english. haaaaa. =D

Especially when they say they need time to move on and all of a sudden. we are like literally eating our own words.

I explained everything and being sensitive here is not the way to go.

tayo ba?

a Happy New Year.

Yeah. New Year. Any resolutions? :)

I just arrived from General Santos City I will miss my hometown again.. *sniff. anyway, this was a fun Christmas Break. Seeing my cousins (not complete, but at least). It is so much fun eating, sharing stories with them.

Not to mention we slept around 5 am always with the Power 8.
namely: Me, Dianne, Ahia Ton, Donna, Demi, En, Bin, Pao.
which after 2 years were back to rock! hahaha!

This is such an unforgettable Christmas Break and I learned something.

* secrets is meant to be kept but can never be kept forever.
* bring only the things needed. gosh I brought too much.
* don't EAT a lot. I gained. grrrr..

well. so much have happened. I will surely miss the Joyride, coffee time, and my Lee Clan. mwah.

too much photos. be sure to have enough storage for it.

and what is left is some excess pounds that needs to shed off.

weee. we have a pledge. I need to do it. gtg to the gym.
*buff buff buff. whew.

Let's all start it right. now back to school. wtf.